Why We Cancel Our Supports When We Need Them Most
Why do we let go of our supports right when we need them most?
It's one of those funny human things we do. Life gets hard — professionally, physically, financially, emotionally — and the first things to go are the grounding, supportive, nurturing ones. We call them the "extras." The classes and communities, the practices and resources. We pare down to survival mode and call it being responsible.
But here's what I've noticed in twenty five years of teaching and in my own life: the support isn't a luxury. It's the infrastructure. Letting it go during a hard season is like canceling your health insurance because you're worried about getting sick. The hard season is the reason to stay.
I got a note recently from a member navigating a big life transition. She's canceling her membership to "rein things in." I understand. And it also sent up a flag for me.
The Moment You want to cancel your supports is probably the moment you need them.
When life gets shaky, we instinctively tighten. Cut expenses, clear the calendar, go it alone. It makes sense on paper. But movement, community, and practice aren't indulgences you earn when life is easy. They're the things that help you get through when it's not.
I relate to this on so many levels. Trying to figure out online business (versus brick and mortar) without professional support. Thinking I could fix my golfer's elbow with YouTube videos. Opting out of creative community and ending up feeling uninspired and dry. Every time, the "savings" cost me more than the support would have.
I wonder if, especially as women, we feel we need to earn our comforts and supports, or we have to be able to justify the time and money.
As if pleasure and joy aren't reason enough.
As if we aren't worthy of loving care, especially self-directed.
If you're in a season of tightening right now — I see you. And I gently ask: what's one support worth keeping?
I'd love to hear.
— Michelle
Michelle Marlahan has been teaching yoga since 2001 and is the founder of It's All Yoga. She teaches from her home in West Sacramento, alongside her cat Magic and her dog Maple.