Why Is It So Hard For Women To take Time For Themselves
Let's talk about something that might make you uncomfortable. (In fact, I hope it makes you a little squirmy.)
You've been reading my blogs
about taking care of your body, building muscle, getting stronger. You may have even clicked on The Mindful Muscle Club link.
But there's a voice in your head that says, "I don't have time for this. Everyone needs me. This feels selfish."
Sound familiar? (If so, you're in good company.)
This is by design
We've been conditioned – trained, really – to believe that taking care of ourselves is selfish. That our needs come last. That we should be able to manage everyone else's lives AND our own, and make it look effortless.
We apologize for taking up space (do you ever say "sorry" for being in someone's path at the grocery store?👋🏼).
We apologize for having needs.
We make ourselves smaller so others can be comfortable.
Meanwhile, we're getting physically smaller, too. Losing muscle mass every year. Losing bone density. Losing strength and capability. Literally shrinking.
The connection is not coincidental.
We are only as far from power as we are from our own embodiment.
Read that again.
When we disconnect from our bodies – when we don't prioritize our physical strength, our health, our presence in our own skin – we give away our power.
And by "power," I'm talking about physical strength, vigor and capacity, as well as influence, authority and agency.
When we're tired, depleted, and physically weak, we can't show up fully for anything. Not for our families, not for our work, not for the causes we believe in.
Here's what I know about strong women:
👉🏼 They make better decisions because they're not operating from depletion.
👉🏼 They set better boundaries because they know their worth.
👉🏼 They take up appropriate space in the world because they feel solid in their bodies.
👉🏼 They don't apologize for having needs because they understand that meeting those needs allows them to give more generously.
👉🏼 They change things – in their families, their communities, the world – because they have the physical and mental energy to do the work.
The radical act
In a culture that profits from women being small, tired, and self-doubting, taking care of yourself is a radical act.
Building physical strength is political.
Claiming time for your body is revolutionary.
Refusing to shrink – literally and figuratively – is how you change the world.
Let's be honest
You make time for everyone else and everything they need. Familiy activities, your partner's schedule, your aging parents, your work demands, your volunteer commitments.
This strength training program? This is something for YOU.
And here's the truth: you can't pour from an empty vessel. You can't take care of anyone or anything – including the causes you believe in – unless you are resourced, rested, and strong.
We're building more than muscle
Yes, you'll get physically stronger in the Mindful Muscle Club. Your bones will get denser, your balance will improve, daily tasks will feel easier.
But we're also building the muscle of self-prioritization. The muscle of doing something you're not good at – claiming time for yourself. The muscle of undoing cultural conditioning that says you should be last on the list.
This is big work that can only be done with accountability and community.
The ripple effect
When you get strong – physically and mentally – everyone benefits.
Your family gets a more present, energetic you. Your work gets someone who shows up with clarity and power. Your community gets a woman who can do the heavy lifting, literally and figuratively. The world gets another woman who refuses to shrink.
Your nieces, sisters, daughters, granddaughters, and the young women watching you get to see what it looks like when a woman takes care of herself unapologetically.
That's not selfish. That's necessary.
The truth
You've been putting everyone else first for so long, you might not even remember what it feels like to prioritize yourself.
Start here. Start with your body. Start with 45 minutes twice a week where you show up for your own strength.
Everything else you want to do in this world – care for your loved ones, contribute to causes you believe in, make a difference – becomes possible from a place of embodied strength
The Mindful Muscle Club is a 3-month live online cohort for women who are ready to stop apologizing for having bodies that need care and attention.
If you're tired of feeling tired, if you're ready to reclaim your physical power, if you want to model what self-prioritization looks like, this is your place.
We start September 8th – not because it's convenient, but because your body can't wait any longer.
The world needs you strong.
Michelle Marlahan is the founder of It's All Yoga, now a thriving online studio offering 10 live classes weekly and hundreds of recorded sessions ranging from 10-60 minutes. Her approach balances nervous system regulation with strength building specifically for women in their 40s-70s who value the privacy, autonomy and flexibility of virtual yoga practice. She also works privately with women who have pelvic pain, incontinence or prolapse to find balance and healing in the hips, low back and pelvic floor.