Living Through or Living With
For the past year and a half, I've been dealing with wrist pain (and not handling it all that well, I might add).
It started on my right wrist -- the wrist I broke and had surgery on in 2017 -- after an overly enthusiastic weights workout.
At first it was a little niggly irritation. I ignored it. Then it got worse, so I rested it. But it flared up every time I started back with my usual routine.
When it became clear that this wrist pain was going to be a thing, I looked at it as something I'd have to deal with for a period of time. Something I would get through.
But it kept getting worse. It greatly impacted my day-to-day life, my sleep, and my yoga practice. I can't use hand weights. I haven't done downward facing dog in almost a year. I can't even do table pose.
When I looked at the injury as something I had to live through, my subconscious tactic was to simply wait it out. But that wasn't working. Not only was the pain not getting better, I gradually sidelined my mat time altogether because I couldn't do my "regular" practice.
By some mercy, a few weeks ago I remembered the important difference between living through something... and living with it.
This is a distinction that doesn't always get made. We usually talk about "getting through" a loss, a rough patch, a health crisis. We'll "get through it" and move on.
But that's not always the case, is it?
When I started to look at my wrist pain as something I might have to live with, there was a deep sadness, grief. An acknowledgment of the loss in my practice -- favorite poses, typical sun salutations, doing things the "regular" way.
And then almost immediately, creativity arose. I can't do dog, but I can do dolphin! I bet I could even work up to doing forearm stand. What else can I do that would feel amazing?
Living through this wrist injury had a lifeless, dulling quality. Living with it brought me into participation -- both with the loss that is real and with new possibilities that come from it.
Living Through vs Living With
Living through might look like...
A job or house transition
An injury or surgery recovery
A difficult conversation
A deadline or project
Acute grief
Living with might look like...
Chronic pain
A diagnosis or health change
The death of a family member or friend
Discrimination, oppression, and any of the -isms
Changes that come with age
As you can imagine, some situations have an element of both. There's the acute grief after a loss that we get through (in no prescribed timeframe). And there are the ways one continues to live with that absence. Or you heal from the surgery, but there's also an ongoing reality or change.
So for you, my friend: Is there something you've been waiting or wanting to get through that might end up being something you live with? What would that shift in perspective make possible? What is there to grieve?
I'd love to hear.
Thank you for reading. Your time is precious and I don't take it for granted.
With love,
