You are from a special planet
There is no problem for which the instruction
to love more is not the solution.
~Kathleen McGowan
This goes out to anyone who has ever felt like they didn’t belong or fit in. Anyone in the Misfit Club.
It might be that you didn’t fit in with your family of origin.
Maybe you feel out of place at work.
Or maybe you don’t meet “main stream” expectations.
Whatever the group or venue, you have felt not quite right, like you didn’t fit the bill.
Maybe your feet are really big or you snort when you laugh.
Maybe you’ve been called too chatty… or not friendly enough.
You might call these particularities your “flaws” or quirks.
I know what it’s like to feel alienated. I live with incredible privilege and in many ways check all the boxes of social approval. At the same time, I grew up the black sheep of my family, and that experience of being an outsider has had a big impact on my life. Even though I'm comfortable in my skin, often I feel like a misfit in group settings outside of my chosen people.
If this speaks to you, here's an experiment.
Imagine you are from a planet where everyone is like you! Everyone is sensitive or quirky or has a squeaky voice.
On your planet, you are the norm! You do not stand out for this quality. It’s not called out as odd or different.
This is your home planet and you are completely and absolutely accepted and celebrated here.
Let yourself feel this for a second… on the planet you came from, everyone is like you.
How does it feel?
Let’s say you’ve been called “too sensitive.”
On your planet, everyone is sensitive! Everyone cries at commercials and has big feelings and has gut instincts about things.
There is no too much or not enough — your amount of sensitive is just right.
Now, of course, we don’t use this idea as an excuse to be a jerk. There is no planet where being abusive in any way is ok.
We're talking about having a place where we feel like we belong, like people "get us" and we don't have to explain or apologize.
The cool thing is, you can let your imagination go with this. You can picture your planet, where you live there, the people, the landscape... make it real. Your brain isn't so great at distinguishing material real from imagined real, so you can go back to Your Planet whenever you want!
If you want to prepare for a family gathering? Go hang out on your planet for a few minutes and soak up that feeling of not being the weird one.
If you just had an interaction that made you feel like an outsider? Go hang out on your planet where you are totally "normal!"
It's mostly about the feeling of being accepted, the feeling of belonging. So whenever, wherever you have that feeling, savor it. Steep in it for 30-60 seconds. That's enough for your nervous system to benefit.
So... on my planet, everyone is exquisitely sensitive, has specific food requirements, needs 8 hours of sleep, needs a lot of alone time, doesn't like TV, doesn't drink alcohol, doesn't like loud noises or bright lights. And no one thinks twice about it!!
My planet makes me so happy!
Tell me about yours!
