Why Am I So Tired? The Real Reasons Midlife Energy Disappears (And It's Not What You Think)
You're not lazy.
You're not weak.
You're not "just getting older."
You are tired — genuinely, deeply tired — and if you've been wondering why rest doesn't seem to fix it anymore, you're not imagining things. Something real is happening inside your body, and it's time we talked about it honestly.
I've been teaching yoga and movement for over 25 years. And in the last decade or so, the number one thing women tell me when they first come to class isn't "I want to be more flexible" or "I need to stretch more." It's some version of: I'm exhausted. I don't know why. And I'm starting to wonder if this is just... my life now.
It doesn't have to be.
But first, we need to get honest about what's actually going on.
Fatique and exhaustion are not the same thing
This is the distinction nobody talks about, and it matters more than you think.
**Fatigue** is normal tiredness. It responds to rest, sleep, a quiet weekend. You're low on fuel, but your system isn't damaged. A good night's sleep can turn you around.
**Exhaustion** is something different. It's the kind of tired that doesn't go away after sleep. You wake up tired. You rest all weekend and still feel depleted. You're running on fumes and caffeine and sheer willpower.
If that second one sounds familiar — I see you. And I want you to know: that's not a character flaw. It's information. Your body is telling you something important.
The question is: what?
The HORMONAL PIECE NOBODY FULLY EXPLAINS
After 40 (and especially as we move into perimenopause and menopause), a cascade of hormonal shifts happens that directly affects your energy. And here's the thing — most of us have heard "it's your hormones" as an explanation, but not many of us have heard *how* or *why.*
Insulin is your body's key that unlocks your cells so glucose can get inside and be used for energy. When insulin stops working well — from frequent eating, refined carbs, or chronic stress — that energy gets locked out and stored as fat instead. The result? You feel tired after meals. Your energy crashes in the afternoon. And no amount of caffeine fixes it.
Cortisol is supposed to be high in the morning (to wake you up) and low at night (to let you sleep). But chronic stress flattens that curve. You end up wired at night and flat in the morning. Sound familiar?
Thyroid hormones are your metabolic thermostat. Even subclinical thyroid issues — which are incredibly common in midlife women — can create fatigue, brain fog, and that feeling of just... not recovering. If you haven't had a full thyroid panel checked recently (not just TSH — the full picture), it might be worth a conversation with your doctor.
Estrogen and progesterone do far more than regulate your period. Declining estrogen affects how your mitochondria produce energy. Low progesterone disrupts sleep. These aren't abstract medical facts — they're the biochemical reason you feel the way you feel.
This isn't in your head. It's in your hormones. And your hormones are in your cells.
tHE SLEEP-STRESS-INFLAMMATION CYCLE
Here's a loop that keeps a lot of midlife women stuck, and most people don't realize all three pieces are connected:
Poor sleep leads to elevated cortisol. Elevated cortisol increases inflammation. Inflammation disrupts blood sugar. Disrupted blood sugar makes sleep worse.
Round and round.
Each piece feeds the others. And if you're only addressing one (let's say sleep hygiene — cool room, no screens, the whole ritual), but the stress and inflammation underneath are still running the show, you're going to keep hitting a wall.
This isn't about doing more. It's about understanding the system so you can work with it instead of against it.
sO wHAT aCTUALLY HELPS?
I'm not going to give you a ten-step plan here. That's not how real change works, and honestly, if you're exhausted, the last thing you need is another overwhelming to-do list.
But I will say this: the answer isn't more grinding. It's not pushing harder or adding another supplement or white-knuckling your way through another intense workout.
The answer starts with understanding *why* you're tired — which is exactly what we just did.
The next piece? It's about the kind of movement that actually *builds* energy instead of draining it. (Spoiler: it's probably not what you've been doing.) I wrote about that here: **Why the Hardest Workout Is Not the Best Workout for Midlife Women**
And underneath all of it — at the cellular level — there's a story happening in your mitochondria that's worth knowing about. Because once you understand what's happening in your cells, everything else makes a lot more sense. That's here: **What Your Mitochondria Are Trying to Tell You**
*yOU aLREADY HAVE AN a.*
This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about finally understanding what your body has been saying all along — and believing it.
wANT TO eXPLORE tHIS FURTHER WITH A COMMUNITY THAT ACTUALLY GETS IT?
Come spend a month with us at It's All Yoga. This is where we do the deep work — gently, together, at the pace your body actually needs.
Michelle Marlahan is the founder of It's All Yoga, now a thriving online studio offering 10 live classes weekly and hundreds of recorded sessions ranging from 10-60 minutes. Her approach balances nervous system regulation with strength building specifically for women in their 40s-70s who value the privacy, autonomy and flexibility of virtual yoga practice. She also works privately with women who have pelvic pain, incontinence or prolapse to find balance and healing in the hips, low back and pelvic floor.